Lorraine Lane No Comments

Learn to Say “NO” With Confidence

Learning to say, “no” is a powerful skill for achieving personal and business success. The struggle with setting boundaries is real. When you don’t know how to set boundaries, you will often find yourself overwhelmed and stressed. Those obligations that you agreed to take on, often find that the “yes” is really “no” and you battle the drain of energy and time.

Let’s take a look at the art of saying, “no” gracefully and pleasantly.

Why “NO” Matters

When you say, “no”, you set clear boundaries and limitations. You are paying attention to balance and are preventing burnout from over commitment and safeguarding both your mental and physical health.

NO is creating space for what truly matters to you.

Your Time and Energy

When you say, “yes”, you are gifting your time and energy to the request. This is time and energy that you won’t have available for activities that align with your goals and aspirations.

NO avoids unnecessary commitments and allows you to to spend your time effectively.

Strategies for Saying, “NO”


What are your priorities? If you don’t know, then requests will always prompt a “yes”! if the opportunity  is a contribution to your personal and professional growth, then the positive answer is appropriate. If not, then knowing how to decline is essential.

Empathic Communication:

When saying, “no”, it’s important to communicate understanding and compassion. Express gratitude for the opportunity and give your decision in a clear, concise and respectful way. You might consider suggesting others who might be better suited for the activity.


This is the most difficult part of the Science of “no”. Speak your “no” with confidence and speak with a firm voice. Avoid apologies or over-explaining your decision as this behavior invites coaxing you to change your response to “yes”. Remember, you have the right to decline requests.

Offer A Compromise:

Should you sincerely want to help but can’t fully commit, offer a negotiation of an alternative time or less involvement that might work.


Like all skills, the more you practice, the better you get. Reflect on the outcomes of your decisions. Have you respected your boundaries? Adjust accordingly. Learning to say “no” is powerful. It allows you to prioritize self-care and enables you to invest your time and energy in your own interests and goals.

“When you say, “yes” to others, make sure you are not saying, “no” to yourself.”

Paulo Coelho


Join me for Coffee with the Coach  – a series of free, virtual mini-seminars on the topic of Effective Communication.  Can you think of any aspect of your business that doesn’t require communication?

Register here:  https://my.lanebc.com/coffee-with-the-coach


Jim No Comments

The Challenge Takes Courage

Same Old Thinking Same Old Results PhotoIt takes courage to call a spade a spade. If you decide to step up and get honest about what is really going on, you risk people not liking what you say, criticizing you for kicking up dirt, and becoming defensive about their own low octane game.

If you observe an addict, you will see someone who denies the problem. They prefer to keep things status quo. If you challenge the addict, they will vehemently deny that the problem exists. They will make you the problem, even though you’re trying to help them stop their addiction.

There’s a payoff for lying to oneself. You don’t need to change. Everything is perfect as it is.

Or is it? Read more

Jim No Comments

Community Support Contributes To Success

road sign pointing to advice, help, support, tips, guidance, assistanceWe’re so triggered by invitations to formulate New Year’s resolutions to join the many claiming to be on the fast track to success. But the push gets tiresome, and we find ourselves back in our old ruts and habits.

A team of psychologists from Duke University, the University of Pittsburgh and the University of Colombia in Bogota recently studied people’s beliefs about self-control. They found that when it came to making choices between going out dancing and studying for a test, students depended on self-reliance exercises of self-control to resist temptation. They didn’t reach out to friends for support to help them. Read more

Jim No Comments

It’s Personal

Personal1All experiences are personal. Each of us has our own story about every experience. Have you ever noticed that two people can be in the same situation at the same time, and still tell different stories about the experience? Read more

Jim No Comments

C = Cheerleader

Do you know who your best colleagues and supporters are? Can you list them? Do they know that they landed on your Cheerleader List?

CheerleaderIf “Sally” serves as a Cheerleader for you and your business, how does she do that? Does she open doors for you? Does she sign your praises to the right people? Does she give you great advice? Read more